I’m in Recovery: Emotional Recovery

When I hear the word recovery, I usually think of people who are recovering from massive surgery or some kind of harmful addiction. The commonality between them is that the body requires some time of rest in order to fully heal from the physical trauma that has been inflicted.

In our society, there are significant traumas that individuals experience that are not necessarily understood as requiring a period of recovery, only a quick-fix approach – a therapist, doctor, or psychiatrist.

Growing up, I experienced both emotional and physical trauma. I call it trauma rather than abuse because I don’t believe that what I experienced was intended to cause me harm. Some may say that the actions of those around me were done out of love, or simply because they didn’t know another way. Regardless of the intent, the suffering I endured is still a part of my life, and for a long time, I fiercely held onto anger and resentment for the problems I had/have.

I eventually released these feelings after realizing that the only person I was hurting with them was myself. I ended up seeing this mantra that summed it up perfectly, “holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.”

Although the negative feelings are now gone, sometimes the pain, the hurt, or the remnants of the traumas are still there. This tells me that there is still more work to be done in order to fully heal.

This got me thinking about recovery as a process; a period in life for true reflection, healing, and growth. Looking back, I don’t see much time in my life where I could have fully immersed myself in a process like that. After high school, I went straight into college – worked my tail off, and now I’m working full time, and recently got married. I’m told that as I get older, time for myself will be harder and harder to come by.

So, I’m going into recovery. I’m not sure what this process will look like, or what I’m going to find or reveal, but I know that this is absolutely necessary for my well-being. I plan to share my process, so feel free to share your thoughts with me.

Sending you love for simply being you, and gratitude for reading!